I want to slit my own throat

this uneasy feeling is like a big fucking wave that smashs towards me over and over again 

It’s because you’re so inlove with them you go blind, like no literally blind and it’s not always good

blind as in everytime they hurt you, you blame yourself

For that period of time that you’re trying to get over it you keep trying to convince yourself that it’s okay don’t worry it’s just a rough patch learn to forgive etc. that somehow in the end you end up blaming your damn self for the problem to occur in the first place

And then when they sweep you off your feet you completely loose that argument with yourself and fall back into their arms again. It’s completely fucked

and no you don’t want to speak to your friends about it because you don’t want them to be annoyed or “omg here she goes again” 

It’s really like a bomb that’s about to explode anytime 

Why do you always have to drink?